2022 is a year that I’ve planned to use looking after myself a bit better – both my body, and my mind. I’ve vowed to stop seeing carving time out for yoga or a mindfulness session as self-indulgent, or a luxury, and telling myself I should be spending that time cleaning, working, or playing with the kids. But these things are part of a self-care regime that makes me feel healthy and happy, which reflects on everyone else in our home, too.
My first stop when deciding to commit myself to something is to read a little more about it, and there are so many different aspects to self-care that a general guide seemed like a good idea. Which is where Anna Borges’ book, The More or Less Definitive Guide to Self-Care, came in.
The author, Anna Borges, is an editor, podcast host, and mental health champion, and I loved her warm, non-judgemental tone throughout the book. The book itself is divided into bite-sized sections of up to a page on a wide range of self-care topics, from yoga to medication and friendship bracelets to fidget toys.
I liked the honesty of the ‘Their Care’ sections where contributors talk openly about their struggles and what works for them, whether it’s dealing with post partum depression or an eating disorder.
The book itself is beautiful to read, with illustrations by Bob Scott in soft greens, pinks and blues. There are motivational quotes every few pages – “Say it more. Say it without apologising. No!” was one of my favourites, as this is definitely something I need to work on.
This is a brilliant book to read straight through from cover to cover, or to pick up when you’re having a low moment. Every page is full of pearls of wisdom in Borges’ tones. She understands how you’re feeling, and she’s not judging. There are some obvious tips – forgiving yourself for your mistakes, and thinking about your work-life balance – and some that you might not have thought of, but once they’re pointed out, seem like a no-brainer, such as establishing boundaries around the news (you don’t need to know everything that’s going on in the world) and stargazing. I can testify that a little stargazing session is most definitely a boon for the soul, especially if you can spot some actual planets!
There’s an easy to follow flow-chart at the back with suggestions on what kind of self-care you need depending on how you’re feeling, ranging from the gentle ‘lounging in something comfy’ and ‘reach out to someone you love’ when you’re really feeling unable to do much but sit on the sofa, to more energetic and effortful if you’re feeling ok, such as gardening and cooking.
Usually, when I finish a book, it either goes to the charity shop if I don’t think I’ll pick it up again, or on our bookshelves if I want to hang on to it. This book is staying out. Opening it is the equivalent of a warm, comforting hug, whether you just need a quick pick me up or a life preserver. Buy it new or second hand, or borrow it, but try to add it to your collection if you can. It’ll do you good, I promise!